It Begins
The picture that started it all. Seriously -- it's a monkey in a kilt and top hat, pouring goo onto a young boy's head. You can't make that shit up.
Anyway, the first few are up now. I plan to update twice a week -- say, Tuesday and Friday? Less if I get lazy, more if I come up with something that's just so damn hilarious I can't wait to foist it on you. Comments are enabled, by the by -- your suggestions for alternate captions are always welcome...
7 comments:
Timmy soon regretted asking the strange, hairy Scottsman to share his haggis recipe.
--Hewligan
I approve. As for the picture, my first thought was:
"As the creature's acidic cock-sludge coated his bonny locks and seeped into his fontanel, devouring his tender brain like oven-cleaner eats camembert, Timmy's last thought before syphilitic madness took hold was of mater. He hoped she would still love him whwn the he was a monkey-spunk-melted retard..."
Jesus but I just keep on keeping on. How about
"Ooooh you ROTTER! cried James. "It was MY turn to play Asian Businessman and YOUR turn to play the pre-sexual schoolgirl. Shit, here comes mum, pretend it's custard"
I know it's a fucking ape. "Monkey", however, is a funnier word by several orders of magnitude.
"I'm SO sorry I didn't swallow, Mr. Monkey! Please don't dump it on Timmy - I promise to be a 'good girl' next time..."
or
"At 8oz. per blowjob, do you have ANY idea how many hours of work you've just wasted??? Then again Timmy does look rather funny with it all in his hair...oh monkey - you're such a kidder! You just don't want the fun to end, do you?"
or
"damned stupid boy! just because I'm wearing a kilt, that doesn't mean I take it!! I only GIVE IT, BITCH!"
or
"monkey - no!! Timmy was just confused because he saw you roleplaying 'mother' last night - it wasn't his fault...it was mine...please punish ME instead..."
"get your glue off me you damn dirty ape"
Timmy regretted asking what bukkake was!
as a decoy, the monkey was most effective, diverting the partygoers attention for the scant 2 minutes it required for the space mushrooms to claim the house.
Post a Comment