Yuletide Felicitations

Dunno about you lot, but I'm on holiday.

Wasn't this an episode of Mythbusters?

All Your Horse Fucking Are Belong to Us

"Can we do an all meme edition?" asks Jason from Gorilla Sushi, in response to the shameless populism of the last post.

In a word, no. There are many reasons why we can't, ranging from the irrevocable damage to my soul that would be a necessary consequence of the meme research I would have to do, to the utter impossibility of creating anything that could live up to the genius of Bananaphone. I also have no images that relate in any way to badgers or Kenya.

So no, no more meme-based cartoons.

Alright, just one:

Uncomfortable Silence

Holy shit! Do you see what I did there? I jumped on the bandwagon of an already dated Internet meme for a cheap laugh! That shit never gets tired!

Lost Opportunity

What the crap? Monkey Day was two days ago and nobody told me? I'm very disappointed in you. Very disappointed.

In other news, I've become worryingly addicted to Project Wonderful -- it's like eBay for adspace! You may have noticed Monkey Fluids ads appearing on such prestigious sites as Alien Loves Predator and Wondermark. This costs me (bugger all) money for no real return other than the boost to my self esteem when I see a few more hits trickle in! You smell that? That's commerce, son.

2 Beautiful 2 Live

Improper Thoughts

Once again, I don't know if I've actually improved on the original caption:

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Alterations

Well that was moderately painless. Moved to a new template, which has some shiny new features (check out the new Site Feeds and collapsey archive)  but is more of a pain in the arse to edit. And there's no Recent Posts feature, which I always kind of liked (you need to piss about with integrating Site Feeds to get the functionality back, and it doesn't look that hot anyway). Frankly, I'm not wedded to the new layout - if the consensus is that it's an unholy abomination, I might just go back to the old template.

Oh, and Monkey Fluids now has a presence on ComicSpace, which is like MySpace but for webcomics. Not sure if that's more or less sad.

Service Announcement

So I've just changed over to Blogger Beta. I'll be fiddling with the site template over the next few days while I see what it can do, which may result in me ballsing up the whole thing temporarily as I figure out what I'm doing.

In short: If you see any weirdness in the immediate future, no, it's just you.

Merry Japery

Raise the Roofies

Note to small children: Drugging people and raping them is generally a bad thing and you shouldn't do it.

QTAAWSDOFs

It's about time for another set of Questions that Are Asked with Some Degree of Frequency...

Wha-huhn?
OK, see, what I do is I take pictures from old kids’ annuals, then add alternative captions for humourous effect. Clever, isn’t it? I bet no-one’s ever done anything like that before ever. Ever.

How delightfully whimsical. Can I play?
Sure – that’s what comments are for. Your suggestions for alternative captions are always appreciated. If I see one I particularly like, I’ll post it as a proper entry.

So you mean we end up doing your job for you?
Quiet, you.

Whatever. How often do you post new comics?
At the moment, every Tuesday and Thursday, plus miscellaneous announcements and ravings as they become relevant.

Bwaah! I am considerably too lazy to check your site every day to see if there’s something new! What can I do?
If you have an RSS reader or a Bloglines account, you can point it at either of the feeds listed under SITE FEEDS over on the right there. No, your other right. If you’re on LiveJournal, you can add the site syndication to your Friends list. Happy now?

Ecstatic. So, you get these pictures from old kids’ annuals. Which ones?
Currently, I’ve used:

The Book for Girls
The Brownies Annual 1958
Champion Book for Girls
Chatterbox 1932
Chick's Own Annual 1954
Girls' Crystal Annual 1952
Happy Story Book
Ideal Book for Girls 1934
Modern Book for Girls 1960
Monster Book for Girls 1947
The Oxford Annual for Girls 1933
The Oxford Annual for Girls 1939
Popular Book for Girls
The Prize 1958

Note that the works of Enid Blyton do not feature among them.

You’re a 30-year-old man. Why do you have so many girls’ annuals?
My girlfriend collects them – she wants to decorate a room with the colour plates one day.

I possess quantities of your human “money”. Is there some way I could part with it in exchange for themed merchandise?
Yep – go to CafePress. There are two shops worth of designs (I’m a cheap bastard, so I only use a free account, which means I can only have one design per type of product). If there’s a particular image you want on a particular item, send me an email and I should be able to sort you out.

You Were All Thinking It

I Said Consume!

Well, I got a pitifully low response regarding your favourite comics, which surprised me, since normally when you ask "what's your favourite X?" on the Internet people won't shut up. Perhaps I should stop using LiveJournal as my yardstick for expectations regarding personal interaction.

At any rate, the scant few who offered an opinion in this regard may be interested to know that there's now a second Monkey Fluids shop with a bunch of new designs. Shine on, you crazy diamonds.

By which I mean, "give me money, you crazy diamonds."

Back! In Glorious Technicolour!

I'm going to two a week now -- Tuesdays and Thursdays. That should let me eke this site out a bit further beyond the point when creativity deserts me completely.

Comic #100: Everything New is Old Again

So this is number 100. More or less -- the count gets a bit messy when you decide whether or not to include ones like this or this. Regardless, I say this is the century comic and my word is law.

I was thinking about packing it in once I reached 100, but then you fuckers start saying things like:

In recent months, Monkey Fluids ... has risen from the muddy depths of the web to become one of the best satirical and pseudo-educational comic strips out there.

And, well, my ego's just too big to pass that sort of stuff up. I will, however, take a short break (I'm thinking a week or two) while I take a breather and work on the next hundred fifty bunch. When I return, I'll probably cut the posting frequency back to two a week as well.

Your instructions while I'm gone are twofold:

1. Learn how to use an RSS reader -- they're built in to all the modern browsers. That way, you won't have to keep checking the site to see if I'm back. There's that syndication link for the LiveJournal-inclined also.
2. Nominate, in the comments for this post or via e-mail, your favourite comic out of the first hundred. The CafePress merchandise could do with updating, and I want to know which designs are most popular...

Right, back in a bit.

C is for Charlie

Hitler Joke: Check

Norse Gods in Love

Speaking of Evil Masterminds...

Moo hoo ha har.

I am pleased to announce that Monkey Fluids has purchased, for the princely sum of NZ$4.50, the African nation of Gabon. When I heard that Earth is on Sale, I figured I'd better get in and stake out a reasonably priced bit of advertising space for the eternal glory of this website. Prices are based on population, not area, but some lucky fucks already got Greenland.

It's on the West coast, about halfway down...

Pharmaceuticals

Satanism: It ain't easy, folks

Blast from the Past

Timmy Points... for the Last Time

That's enough of that.

Timmy Points Again

Yeah, I'm doing a thing -- it's the owls all over again.

Timmy Points

Enigmatic

In Transit

Picture supplied by jacobmarley - ta for that.

No Comic Today

At a funeral.

Cruelty to Accents

Moments in the History of Dirty Fucking Hippies

UPDATE: Due to Blogger's method of generating URLs, it seems the link to this page came out as moments-in-history-of-dirty-fucking.html -- ooh, the search engine traffic that's going to generate...

There's a pun involving the word "Leaky" in here somewhere, but I'm buggered if I can find it

Friday I'm in Love

It's Friday and I really can't be bothered. Especially when they make it this easy for me:



I'm thinking I may have to have a sequel to Obvious Week: No Comment Week. I have a few images like this one, where the only suitable caption would be a sardonically raised eyebrow -- do they have a smiley for that?

Reader Mail #4

Submitted by someone calling himself MrPerson, 1 April 2006:

Smutty Innuendo

Well, that was needlessly vulgar. As an added bonus, the original caption for that picture:



Heh heh... "bowels"...

Intrepid Medicine and Wrong Science

Long time readers will know that I've used that punchline before, but damn it, it's the funniest thing I have ever written or will ever write. Sad, really.

OK, OK, I Thought of One

Hang on, I just checked the comments at the original one, and someone had already mentioned Tribbles. Fuck. Fuck. Ah well.

Hermaphrodastic!

Porcanthropy

Gratuitous Pop Culture Reference #D

I did have another caption for this one, but I figured I better get in with the Indy reference before everyone else does.

Have ye seen me mizzen mast?

Worth acknowledging, I guess:



Here's one I prepared earlier.
Here's another.

Moments in the History of Prosthesis

If it's Friday, it must be a Cthulhu Joke

In other news, the last post generated more than the usual amount of traffic, suggesting two things about LARPers:

1. They like a joke.
2. They are everywhere.

Death to Them All

Meanwhile, in a Tree

Hellooo, Nurse!

Moments in the History of Gender Reassignment

Hardcore: like Emocore, but hard

I am Returned

London, eh? Nice place to visit, etc etc. Long haul flights suck quite substantially, but security controls weren't nearly as bad as I'd been lead to fear -- I got a harder time from customs coming into Auckland than I did in Heathrow. Anyway, on with the show:

I Think We Should See Other People

I'm taking a break. From... us. A 16-day break in London, to be precise, so no updates from me until September. While I'm off in sunny Angleterre, why not take a gander at the links over on the right there. Here's what you can expect to find:

Local Talent (local = New Zealand)
Brain Stab - the Other Blog I contribute to (although not so much lately), along with a few other like-minded individuals. We write Teh Funny.
Charybdis Tarot - the photographic stylings of RSJS. He makes Teh Art.
HORansome - fiction, opinion and media reviews from Mr. Ransome. He exudes Teh Literature. OK, I'll stop now.
Mary MacGregor-Reid - more art. Mary positively prolapses talent, which you can purchase for a reasonable sum. She also dances, as you can see at her other site.
Mutopia - the website that serves as the angst spittoon into which Hewligan expectorates sticky gobs of his wretched existence.
newtown ghetto anger - the only local I've never actually met, Jarrod does a mighty fine line in minimalist comic humour.
Propaganda 101 - not sure if Matthew counts as local, since he's currently stationed in Germany, where he's taken to unearthing classic propaganda images and supplying them with alternative captions for humourous effect. Hang on...
Stupid Internet Name - Mr. Stupid. Señor Estupido. Herr Dummkopf von Kranken-Brainen. The Stupinator. Sorry, I've completely lost my train of thought.

Dirty Foreigners
Kung Fu Monkey - from the pen that brought you... um... Catwoman comes humour that's genuinely funny and insight that's genuinely insightful. The Core, too.
Warren Ellis - if you have to ask...

Oh, and this nice person recently sent me an email telling me that he's linked to me, which is the first time I've been notified in this way by someone who wasn't from Portugal (very polite people, the Portuguese). So go say "hi".

Right, that should keep you going for a while. No? Fine, here's your homework while I'm away:



Chimney sweeps duelling on a box in the ocean by the white cliffs of Dover? I just... I mean, what do you say to that? For a long time a drew a blank with this one, until the Total Recall reference presented itself, but unless I missed the release of Duellin’ Chimney Sweeps: Soot Thunder, there’s no movie in-joke to save me here. See what you can come up with.

Gratuitous Pop Culture Reference #∞

Fact of Life

Obscure Pop Culture Reference

Not to be confused with the Gratuitous Pop Culture Reference (where one references something well known in order to get a cheap laugh off the back of someone else's work), the Obscure Pop Culture Reference is where one references something less well-known in order to create a stronger kinship with those who get it, and a feeling of superiority over those who don't. Because one is a wanker.

Icke, Icke, Baby

Another Friend of the Bible