Friday, April 07, 2006

If it's Friday, it must be a Pirate Joke

'Arr... 'tis lucky for you we be homosexuals -- like all pirates -- or ye'd be satisfyin' the urges o' the entire crew right now. Instead, can ye tell us where ye purchased them delightful Mary Janes?'

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I just don't understand it.." pondered the Captain, "you'll have to show me once again, how DID you fit a seven year old girl in that barrel?"

Anonymous said...

"Pirates? Why, not a single one of you has a hook or peg-leg! I suspect you are mere corsairs!"

Noah Brand said...

Pete was the kind of guy who would continue happily relating his anecdote, gesturing broadly and smiling, long after it should have been obvious that nobody was listening. His resulting hatred of new crewmember Bloodbath Cindy would not make him any more popular.

Anonymous said...

Rrrr! Back her up before she blows! That cannonballs coming back out!

Anonymous said...

"one eye'd Pete was dissapointed that, despite all his practice, little Cindy held her enema longest"

Anonymous said...

No, I don't want to frisk you for concealed weapons! You DHS agents sure ask some funny questions! May I have my ice cream now?

Anonymous said...

Whoa ... just realised that you guys are based in New Zealand ... the funny time zone should have tipped me off. By "DHS" I was referring to the US Dept of Homeland Security, which if you haven't heard has recently had two of its agents arrested for acts not quite in keeping with the security of America's teenage girls: see http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/wireStory?id=1811936 and http://news.tbo.com/news/metro/MGBKPR9ONJE.html

RSJS said...

As always Josh, you had me at "Arrr..."

Anonymous said...

Well what 'ave we 'ere....welcome aboard lass! now put ye fucking knickers on and go make us a tea.

Anonymous said...

Cap'n Crip distracted her with his spazzy digits as David Bellamy prepared to board her arse.

Psycho Milt said...

What I want to know is, what the fuck was the original caption?

Josh said...

I don't have it in front of me, but it was something along the lines of "Now you're aboard you'll have to cook and clean for us." Obviously, they were friendly children's book pirates, who never rape, pillage and/or plunder.

Anonymous said...

Although she was more than a little concerned at first, little Julie would be surprised to learn that the consequences of losing at rock-scissors-paper on board the Jolly Rogerer were not nearly as ... uncomfortable as those she had experienced in the regular Navy.

Anonymous said...

The crew all agreed that Tom the cabin boy's impersonation of Shirley Temple was the best they'd ever seen.

The Rev. Jenner J. Hull said...

The crew despised her draconic, iron-fisted command, but they knew, were any sailor to mutiny against Capt. Daisy, the penalty would be much worse than death.