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Why must the Monkey subject poor Timmy to the horrors of his variegated fluids? The gods themselves, they do not know.
Why must the Monkey subject poor Timmy to the horrors of his variegated fluids? The gods themselves, they do not know.
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After trying unsuccessfully to find safer alternatives, such as long branches to reach with or a piece of rope, Lucy took the more risky option of crawling forward on the ice whilst trying to spread her weight as much as possible.
She'd managed to use her cell phone to call the emergency services and so now it was just a question of keeping Jane's head above the frigid waters until help arrived...
"That's the last time you're going to call ME frigid, bitch!"
You know, I'm not sure about this director's cut of Titanic...
For months they had been trying to get a glimpse of the Orca. If only they had some bait and Susie knew just what to use.
"By Al Gore's beard it's brisk! I'll bet it feels even colder down there, unless you've started freezing to death and it feels warm. Tell me if that happens, won't you?"
No one believed Sally's tale of the arctic mermaid, but she didn't care. She just shrugged her shoulders, smiled, and held out the creatures scalp.
"Then where did I get the scalp" Sally would say.
Try-outs for the new "American Idol vs America's New Top Model" series just got uglier...
Despite sticking enough weights on it to sink a battleship, Ursula was dismayed to find that Jack's new blow-up doll still wouldn't sink. Dismayed she had no alternative but to drag it out and stick it back under his bed. Then the nightly humiliation of pretending she was asleep as he once more pleasured himself on it in the wee hours.
Years later, as she rode on a train from Grimsby to Peterborough, it dawned on her; she should have simply stuck a pin in it...
Baptizing new recruits for the Helsinki Christian Ice Follies was always a tricky affair, and best done quickly.
"Samantha! What the hell are you doing!?"
"Months ago I secretly drained this lake, and refilled it with blueberry juice. Once the pigmentations changes set in, I'll erase your mind, bleach your hair, and send you to Smurf Village. No one will ever know what became of the real Smurfette!"
The evil laugh that followed chilled Dorothy to the bone. But she had to honest with herself, she always wanted to do it with a smurf.
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