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Why must the Monkey subject poor Timmy to the horrors of his variegated fluids? The gods themselves, they do not know.
Why must the Monkey subject poor Timmy to the horrors of his variegated fluids? The gods themselves, they do not know.
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It was his moment. While the rest of the children ran in terror, Teddy couldn't wait to see what happened when he used his Bull-Repelling Umbrella that the peddler man had sold him.....
Steven paused. Something had quite clearly gone wrong. Waving an umbrella was supposed to make bulls run away, not children.
It was that YouTube moment. Should he do something sexual with the bull, dance like a robot, or shove the umbrella up his arse and set fire to it...
"Billy!! You've got the mobile phone! Fucking come back you twat!...BILLY!"
In the last ten years, there has been a revolution in the training and development of bullfighting talent. Promising would-be matadors are identified early and assigned to state-of-the-art facilities with virtual bulls, carefully controlled training regimens, and computerised analysis of red-flag techniques. But many Spanish villages still use the old "sink or swim" system. This has helped reduce population pressures in many Spanish villages.
Timmy eyed the bull. The bull eyed Timmy. It works in Pokemon. Roger swore it worked on real animals. But Roger and the others weren't staying to watch: they were running as fast as their helpless laughter would allow.
"Then we all run around like in a Benny Hill sketch. It'll be a laugh. You start."
How could they have known, in their childish innocence, that this was the defining moment in young Bertie's life; a life that was ultimately to end in tragedy...
And that is the day that the Merrill Lynch Bull planted a hedge fund in young Timmy's ass. Sucks to be Timmy!
Timmy hoped that the DVD of cow-porn and the relay of hand-jobs by the rest of the gang had done it's work. Carefully he opened up the bull-semen collecting kit and approached the bull. Just a few more tugs should do it.
While he didn't have Mary Poppin's finesse with an umbrella, Timmy hoped to be the first manny to pass the final test. The fact that many died trying wasn't even in his mind.
Timmy found himself on Doh Island and knew what he had to do to get his "Heaven's Gate Away Team" arm band. To escape this level, he needed to ride a rainbow to the dingle-berry trailing the charging bulls ass. This was going to be tricky, but Timmy had his $5 in quarters and new sneaks!
The children knew all too well where the phrase, "Raining harder than a cow pissing on a flat rock" came from. But this time, litte Timmy was prepared.
The day had come. The showdown they had both been waiting for. Timmy eyed his opponent warily, having lost once before and barely escaping with his life. But this time would be different. This time he would face his fear.
And take his umbrella from the child that had stolen it from him.
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